i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
