Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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