sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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