Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
