You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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