everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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