She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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