i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
