He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
