So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
