Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
