And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
