I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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