Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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