Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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