when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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