There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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