Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
