My room smells like vodka and shame
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
