So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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