tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize