do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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