This is not my ceiling
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
