hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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