he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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