And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
