hell yes lets make some ravioli
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
