it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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