Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
