I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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