doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
