Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
