Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
