I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
