a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
