I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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