When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
