I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
