I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I bet he comes in French.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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