i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
