life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
