shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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