giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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