is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
