So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
