What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize