I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
