do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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