you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
