i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
