Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
