Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
