im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
