Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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