Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
