Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
