google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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