so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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