It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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