He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
