Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize