Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
