We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
